You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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