all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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