they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
