lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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