do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
