I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
