I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
