Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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