i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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