i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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