You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize