sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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