OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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