let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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