That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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