He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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