Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
