Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
