I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize