This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
