you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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