Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
