4 words: hood of his car
apparently the secret to your success is patron
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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