Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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