I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
