with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is my gift to your gina
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
