his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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