Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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