My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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