"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
