This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
