i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
