My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
