Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
