Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
