just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
