smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
