some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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