I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
