you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
