You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
