i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
