that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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