the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
if only i could text you this smell
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize