i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
