It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
