I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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