I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
