U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
