She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
