eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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