just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
