Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
