I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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