You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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