Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
