just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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