I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
