Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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