she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
