shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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