Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
